Monday, January 19, 2015

I'd rather be with an animal

A lady should never grunt, snore, fart, pee on her leg, or sniff her own poo.

I do all that stuff and I'm a la... hey, wait a minute!
I've been thinking about my exes a lot the last couple of days. A friend of mine had a shit break-up and it got me thinking is all. I have some awesome exes that I shit on, and a slew of them who used me as their own patch of grass (if I have to explain that dogs poo on grass you should stop reading this and go find a blog full of cat memes).

I have often thought of myself as a mosaic. Every single person I encounter contributes a piece of tile to it. Sometimes they contribute entire sections, sometimes the glue doesn't even dry before their piece falls off. Those are all pieces that make the total sum of what I am today. I'm glad for my exes. Even the shitty ones. Without them I would not have become what I am at this moment: a guy with a dog at his feet, a cup of coffee within reach, and a beautiful woman sleeping in my bed upstairs who takes me just as I am.

Have a good day, fuckers.