Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Just like my dad did

Had a dream about Emma Stone. She duped me into doing terrible, terrible things. No, not fun terrible things, evil terrible things.

Hi, I'm Emma Stone and you will do my bidding, bitch.

The worst part? She showed her boobs to some security guy to gain access to some shindig, but she wouldn't even let me steal a glance! Anyway, by the end of the dream the CIA, the NSA, the FBI and the mob were all after me while she was sitting on some island drinking things with umbrellas served by pretty brown boys. Good times.

Also, she wasn't the Emma Stone in the picture. She was a different Emma Stone who was born a year before the one pictured. She hates that other Emma Stone.

We have entered the single digits of days until we close on the new house. TGB is excited at the prospect of being able to sleep in without geriatrics waking her up at the asscrack of dawn. The proximity of old people (or any people) is farther in the new place.

Cam Newton, when your team is as horrible as yours is, maybe don't act like a dickface when you score a touchdown. Superman would never have a losing record, let alone a tie with the Might Bengals of Cincinnati.

RAWR!

Have a day.