Saturday, October 18, 2014

I was so much older then



I've been looking forward to turning 42 since 1993. That was the first time I ready Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I was in Monterey living in an Air Force dorm (we pretended to be military) supposedly learning Arabic. Marhaba motherfucker is about all I remember and I'm pretty sure one of those isn't Arabic.

Kinda creepy, Google. Kinda creepy.
There is something to being the number 42. It's a lot of responsibility to be the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything. I knew at 20 that I would understand life a lot better at 42. I thought I would have my 20 year old body with the added bonus of some wisdom an' shit. Turns out, my 20 year old self gave my 42 year old self way too much credit.

At 20 I had the optimism that I could change the world. Turns out the world changed me far more than I could ever hope to change it. At 20 I had the virility of a porn star and would fuck a 2 if she breathed in my direction. Now I am married to the sexiest woman on the planet who wants to sleep with me ALL THE TIME (that's right fellas, she loves the D) and my shit sometimes works and sometimes is all meh, I'll get wet in there. At 20 I could eat what I want, drink what I want, sleep less than four hours and still be a functioning, thin, shit hot airman. 42? I have to pick one of those three things and give myself the rest of the three day weekend to recover. And the thin part left long, long ago.

And yet, I am giddy at arriving at this particular number. I do have some of that wisdom that 20 year old me expected I would have. It was hard earned and high priced. It has given me a perspective about this life and, hopefully, the next 42 years.

Simply put, life is going to suck. Trust me on this.

But sometimes, when you least expect it and (I cannot stress this enough) if you get the hell out of your own way, life will blow you away. Even while it seems to be kicking you in the teeth.

Okay, I have a cup of coffee and a beach to get to.