Wednesday, September 10, 2014

When I say dance, you best dance

I cheated this morning. I woke up, took a shower, scrubbed my balls, shaved, got some coffee in me (thanks wonderful wife o' mine) before I sat down to write this morning.

I feel like I have to be honest with my two readers. It's like a social contract between two drunks who are trying to get into each others' pants but are totally turned off by each other by the light of day.

I don't know what that means either. Here's a butt plug for no reason at all:

Tell your mom it's a trailer hitch.
Yesterday on Facebook I asked people to give me one sentence and I promised to build a short story around it. So far I have somewhere around fourteen. That's fourteen stories to write inspired by my twisted friends on Facebook. This is going to be fun.

And finally...

I am a USC football fan. That said: what Steve Sarkisian did, whining to Pat Haden to come down to the field and argue on his behalf to the refs about a call he didn't like, was the biggest bitch move of a coach I've seen in awhile. I lost a metric-shit-ton of respect for him for that.

Bad calls are part of the game. Suck it up and drive on next time instead of acting like a punk who needs daddy to come to the rescue. Bitch.

Also, KISS sucks.