|Loosely based on me. #TrueStory|
One day some dipshit little Mexican kid decided to ride it. I was not pleased.
Four year old me asked him to politely get the fuck off of my tricycle. He pretended not to understand English or some such bullshit. I asked a teacher to get him off of my fucking tricycle. She blathered on about sharing. Fucking socialist.
I decided I had to do something about this. I yanked him off my tricycle. He ended up on the ground so, for good measure, I kicked him square in the face.
I wore cowboy boots with silver tips. His eyeball did not win that battle.
I was kicked out of preschool.
Unlike the little picture caption, all of the above is 100% true.
Enjoy your Tuesday.