Thursday, August 21, 2014

We what the land folks loves to cook

A massive fish ate a shark the byline said. It's trending on social media even. I Fucking Love Science called it a 'Godzilla' (since deleted).

Dude, everyone needs to simmer down with all the fish sensationalizing. It's a modest sized grouper eating a small sized shark. It's not impressive and it is certainly not news. Damn click whores.

If I were ever to encounter a massive grouper, I would be more afraid than if I encountered a shark. Groupers don't bite, they suck. Not in that mmmmm, that feels good sort of way. More in a this is why you never stick your dick in a vacuum sort of way. Then they swallow you whole. A shark has the courtesy to sample first. Usually you taste like crap and  he decides to move on to the buffet table.

Mmmmm, that feels good

Not that I'm actually aware of groupers eating people. It's just that sharks are cool. You tell people you met a grouper and they think you got laid by some sleazy fangirl. Then you have to explain, no I said groupER at which point they lose interest in the conversation. Then you're left standing there wondering why you have stupid friends who would think you could meet a groupie at the bottom of the sea. Now you're singing Under The Sea to yourself the rest of the day. Maybe that puts you in a better mood. Maybe it makes you forget how stupid your friends are.

I blame all of the above on my twitter feed.

Happy Thursday. If this was 1985 the Cosby Show would be on tonight.