Monday, August 25, 2014

I'm short of breath and full of sighs

Ever meet a woman who admits to being a nag? I didn't think so.

And yet we all know one or thirty of them. Even the nagging woman knows a few. As Andy would say...

And what the hell are those dead things above your eyes?
I don't nag. Not because I'm not a woman; because I don't care. I might nag if I had kids. But I hate children, so there is also the possibility that I would let them go out dressed like that. Then they'd catch their death of pneumonia and I'd be rid of them once and for all and no jury could convict me. Mwahahahaha!!!

I know what some of you are thinking: Rudy, if you don't nag because you don't care does that mean you never nag The Gorgeous Blonde and does that mean you don't care? God you're an asshole.

Hmm, that's a bit of a sticky wicket. Or maybe it's not. I have know not what a sticky wicket is literally or metaphorically. I think it has to do with cricket. At least it rhymes with cricket so I'm close enough.

And now you've forgotten what you asked in the first place so we can move on.

I'm going back to bed. Enjoy getting your kids ready for school today!