Thursday, July 3, 2014

Are you okay? I'm just fine.

Women's tennis is infinitely more entertaining than men's soccer.

Poor Tim Howard is the Dan Fouts of soccer. Only a few of you will understand the parallels. In a nutshell, Dan Fouts was one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time but he played on shitty teams that never won a damn thing. The cool kids who got the reference are now pissed that I explained it. Fuck you, hipsters.

I won a free porno last night. Way too many penii on the cover. But it was a signed copy so I ain't giving that shit away!

Saw the lesbian couple that got beat up in San Francisco of all places. Fucking awful. For my Christian friends who whine about being oppressed, take a note. That's what actual oppression looks like.

This is what handsome looks like
So I'm doing this thing on Google+. It should be fun. You should do it. And join G+ because fuck Facebook.

Okay, my ears are getting tongue fucked my two dogs who usually have those same tongues in one orifice or another so I am gonna go.