Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Then I shall love her for who she becomes

Some women just get better with age. I remember watching the news with my brothers about ten years ago and I made the comment, Diane Sawyer has always been hot to me. My brothers looked at me like I said, I want to commit incest with your face holes.

My sin? Finding a woman beyond the age of thirty nineteen attractive.

I caught myself thinking about that incident last night as I watched Trampire. The Gorgeous Blonde has always had a little thing for Pam. As for me, I've noticed that she has gotten hotter with every passing season. Some women just become more woman as they age, ya know?

The only purpose of this post is to serve as an excuse to share this picture. #Truestory
When I was still a baby comedian I was sitting at home watching TV. One of those Girls Gone Wild commercials came on. There was a time when I would have jerked off and come before the end of the 30 second spot (seriously, why would you ever need to pay for an entire dvd?). But this time it was different. I actually felt bad for the girls going wild.

Awww honey, put on a sweater and call your dad.

I realized that I no longer liked girls. I preferred women. And I wrote a bit about the difference. Then I went out and tried it out on stage. Once. Because a few days later Chewed Up came out and this happened -



You'd think I would be disappointed, but I was fucking pleased. Louis and I writing a similar bit? I must be doing it right.

I've never written a bit about fucking a deer in the face with my AIDS infected dick, but still...

Folgers is done.