Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Your baby isn't adorable

Scientifically speaking, not every child is fucking adorable. I have almost 700 FB friends and at least half of them have kids. I can think of only two of them that actually have cute kids.

Yes, yours is one of them.

But everyone else's kid? Well, sometimes your food is better looking. Sometimes. Tender victuals.

Do I eat it or spank it?


I dated a vegan once. Never a good idea. She nagged me all the time about my carnivorous habits.

Nasty indeed

When dating a vegan I would recommend not ordering the veal. Unless you're trying to do that guy thing where we get them to break up with us because we don't have the balls to say, "I think your sister's hot, think you can hook me up?" 

If baby cows are tender and delicious I wonder if... nevermind. 

I need coffee.