Monday, April 28, 2014

I'm cheering for the Clippers now.


I don't care about the NBA like I did when I was a kid. Back then the Lakers were something special. Showtime, Chick Hearns (The Voice of God; sorry Morgan Freeman) and Lakers Girls.

Chickie Baby and the Ultimate Laker Girl
In the midst of the Lakers Showtime era The San Diego Clippers moved to LA and stole their thunder.

Only one of those things is true. The Clippers moved to LA and faded into bolivian. For years they've been that other team in LA.

Along the way we native Angelinos got more than a few hints about what a fuckface Donald Sterling is. The myriad lawsuits alleging everything from your standard misogyny to sexual harassment to racism and even ageism. Generally speaking, we all knew he was a fucking douchebag. And even though he was in LA, he wasn't our douchebag because The Clippers weren't our team.

Fast forward to today. His fuck facery is front and center for the rest of the world to see. Suddenly people who never cared about the NBA have opinions about it. Personally, I wouldn't even have noticed there were playoffs going on if it hadn't been for the Sterling fuck up (I was going to call it a kerfuffle, but then I remembered the level of douche fucktitude involved).

After the giant shit the Clips laid in last night's game (understandable) I caught myself not only paying attention, but cheering for them, actually wanting them to win it all.

Yeah, yeah, I can hear you whining if they win Donald Sterling's behavior is rewarded.

But is it really? Assuming the league allows Sterling in the building should the Clips get to the finals, do you really believe the players and Doc Rivers would allow Sterling the privilege of hoisting the Larry O'Brien alongside the rest of them? The image of Fuckface (that's my nickname for him) having a sad because the black kids won't let him play any reindeer games is priceless.

Fuckface. Not to be confused with Duckface. Which also sucks.

I hear and read about a lot of pundits encouraging fans to boycott the Clippers. I say do the opposite. Yeah, in the short run you're putting money into Fuckface's pocket. But boycotting only serves to punish the players. There's an entire season next year to not give Fuckface your money.

For the rest of this season I would say cheer for the Clippers. And while we're at it, as loud as we cheer for the Clips, let's make Fuckface feel unwelcome. Make him feel so ostracized he'll go crawling into the hole from whence he came while being so loud in celebrating his team that his sad is bigger than his ignorance.

Coffee. Now.