Monday, September 18, 2017

Be a man; fix it.

I just realized I haven't showered since Saturday.

I was binging on This Is Us last night. It hits you in the feels. More than that, it is just great story telling. TGB needs to hurry up and catch up so we can resume watching together.

Or not. I will watch that shit without you, Samantha!

And I am not allowed to watch Outlander without her. I will watch TIU without her, dammit.

Not allowed.

We don't do the not allowed thing in Chez Martinez. We're adults who have been through enough without needing permission. In the past she's been not allowed to go on cruises alone and I've been not allowed to have friends.

Fuck that shit.

Except when it comes to Outlander. Because I want to live.

So, correction, I can watch Outlander without her. I can also stay alive. I cannot do both.

I must shower.

Titty sprinkles!


Thursday, September 14, 2017

You think you get it wrong sometimes, you should come down here and see how the big boys do it.

I was laying in bed watching West Wing last night when something hit me: I am a child all over again.

TGB goes to bed early and I will usually come with which means I will be awake a couple of hours before drifting my drugs kick in. So, I throw on my Kindle Fire and watch some Netflix. Last night I decided to hide it under a cave of covers so it wouldn't be bright while she slept.

When I was a kid and doing things like that it wasn't a tv it was a flashlight and a little turntable. I would put on Diamond Dogs or The Beatles while staring at the back covers. Single earbud in my ear (that hasn't changed) as I was transported to another world via music.

There was something delicious in that feeling that I was doing something wrong in the middle of the night.

Of course, anymore the middle of the night is for the annoyance of waking up to take a leak. I chuckled to myself as I swooned over Claudia Jean.

Let's be clear: my crush is Claudia Jean the character, not Allison Janey the actress. Although, there is evidence to suggest that I might adore Ms. Janey as well.

Then I thought, I could just stay downstairs and watch this on a big tv instead of coming to bed when TGB does. 

No. This stupid little Kindle Fire is a reminder of that time I almost lost everything, including the sweet privilege of nuzzling up next to TGB every night, because of drink.

This Kindle is my second one because my first one ended up in the fireplace. I don't know why except that I was black out drunk. It was a horrible night and I was a fucking horrible man.

Writing that sentence makes me uncomfortable. Mostly because it forces me to remember what a shit I was to the people who were the best to me.

That's about the point of last night's WW episode where I stopped paying attention and remembered yet again that pulling my head out of my own ass was the smartest thing I have ever done.

She made me laugh so hard my face hurt last night. She makes me laugh every night. I smiled and looked over at her. She was asleep.  

If you need help, get help. If you think you can't do it remember: just get through today and we'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.


Monday, September 11, 2017

How long before we turn this into a Hallmark Holiday?

Had a conversation yesterday about the state of the country and how, in a lot of ways, it is worse now than it was just after 9/11.

Makes sense. 9/11 galvanized us as a country.

Now we're splintered and bitter thanks to the asshole in charge. It is self-inflicted.

I know, I know, if I just fall in line and support #45 it'll all get better.

Horse shit.

The terrorists don't even have to do anything. They can just sit back and watch us tear each other apart and laugh. We're doing a better job than they are. 

I just nodded because I really didn't have a counter argument.

I don't really have much of a point.

Happy 9/11 Day, or whatever.

Titty sprinkles!



Saturday, September 9, 2017

Doing the right thing is not heroic

The right thing is always the hardest thing to do.

Not always.

And even when it is, it's still the right thing. That should be your default setting. It shouldn't make people think you're going above and beyond. It should make people think, yeah, that's what I would do. That's what any of us would do.

I dunno, it just seems like we ascribe words like hero to people for displaying basic human decency. Maybe we should set the bar higher and expect more from one another.

Is it wrong to expect our default to be that we look out for each other? Shouldn't we always try to take care of those in need and not just during some big disaster?

It seems rather simple to me: you do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

If we all made that our standard modus operandi this country would be a decidedly better place.

Anyway, fuck you, Hurricane Irma. You ain't shit and I ain't scairt.

Titty sprinkles!


Thursday, September 7, 2017

Been thinking about something you said, Scott.

My friend Scott wrote this on my FB page yesterday regarding Hurricane Irma... it's worth noting how tragedy brings out the best in people, uniting us, making us forget, if only for a moment, all of the petty BS, reminding us that when you truly, truly, truly need help, you don't give a damn if that help looks different, sounds different, or believes different. It actually brings out the dormant beauty within each of us.

At first I completely agreed with him. We saw it in Texas. We saw it during Katrina. 

But as the day went on I had this nagging thought that we were wrong.

At first I just thought about the assholes who shot the prices up on everything from gas to water. 

Sure, there were some smarmy people but, there always are. They were out shined by the altruists who showed up in droves to help complete strangers. 

I was back to believing that Scott was 100% correct. Humanity always shined the brightest when things seemed their darkest. 

What about the assholes who want to point at Houston when the city is on its knees and berate them for deregulation and climate change? Those assholes see a drowning man and lecture him about not putting on his life jacket instead of throwing him a fucking life saver. 

Shit. I didn't have an answer. 

Then I remembered reading that viral post explaining to my dumbass that the helpers were all good ol' boys with boats who love fishing, guns and, Trump. Oh, and obviously they were all veterans. All while liberals sat on the sideline and did fuck all. 

Churches stayed closed while Mosques opened their doors. 

So I got to thinking that maybe Scott was wrong and I was wrong for agreeing with him. 

Scott, you naive fool. People suck. They've always sucked and they will always suckThey'll loot and steal from the wounded, they'll point and blame the inflicted for their pain, they'll politicize the fuck out of tragedy. The only reason the best of us seems to come out during a crisis is because it makes for a good story on the news when contrasted against the horrible tragedy. 

Then it hit me. Scott's not naive, he's just seeing what we're being shown and, when contrasted against the devastation of natural disaster it looks far more heroic than maybe it actually is. That's not to say strangers taking their boats to Houston to help strangers isn't heroic, it is. That's just to say it looks more heroic than say, showing up at a homeless shelter on a Tuesday and volunteering.

The people who run to the fire are always going to seem grander when running into an inferno than a house fire.

I think we have people demonstrating the best in all of us every day and we just don't see it because the backdrop isn't dramatic enough.

I still think Scott's right, by the way. 

Titty sprinkles!



Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Do your worst, Irma

I should be out of the reach of Irma.

That said, I will be picking up some sand bags once I sign off. Then hitting the commissary for some non-perishables and wet wipes.

We'll be fine.

An awesome guitar player from Seattle? No, not that one.

This one.

I haven't felt like dribbling the last few days because I find myself angry. Not in that usual smart ass, go fuck yourself way that you all find so charming. Angry in a, I really hope a fucking meteorite the size of Delaware hits the planet and wipes us out kinda way.

I have a friend. Young guy, sometimes a bit idealistic and reckless but, his heart is one of the best I have ever known.

Kid wanted to run to Boston a few weeks ago and counter-protest, protect those who might be singled out by protestors, whatever. Said he'd only fight if he was protecting someone who was attacked.

A few of us were worried he'd be itching for a fight and end up arrested, or worse.

I talked with him. He promised only that he would consider other ways to utilize this energy of his. When he finally got back to me he'd made a few calls, got himself connected with a legit organization working to keep the peace and provide EMS service if needed. Got himself CPR training and decided he was still going into the fire.

He measured the situation, considered his options and their potential consequences and ran towards the fight rather than away from it.

Maybe it wasn't what some of us were hoping he would choose but, I was damn proud of him.



Friday, September 1, 2017

Not August 31, 2017

Yesterday I got a text from a friend telling me that she is going to see Jason Isbell.

I always associate you with Jason.

That made me smile.

I told her that, sometimes, when I get an overwhelming urge, Southeastern is the thing that helps keep me sober.

She pointed out that it was strange because we've never really discussed Isbell, never seen him together, and I wasn't the person who introduced her to his music. So it was odd that, of all the people she knows, I would be the one that comes to mind when she hears Isbell.

For whatever reason that made me smile big.

I love being thought of whenever Isbell comes on.

I love being thought of.

That's all for today.

Titty sprinkles!


Postscript - happy belated birthday to fellow libarian and awesome nerd, Colleen. Look to the left and you can find a link to her awesome blog. She writes gooder than me.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Aug 31, nay, Aug 30, 2017

I keep thinking there cannot possibly be people dumb enough to believe B-Rock was POTUS during Katrina, right? I mean, that whole thing about people tweeting he was golfing was a comedy thing.

Right?

You're telling me that there are people that stupid running around holding down jobs and voting?

This is why I want to leave the country when TGB retires.

It's supposed to be sunny again. In ten days. And you think Houston has it rough.

Mexico is not sending their best. Oh wait, that's precisely what they are doing. Again. This time Fuckface d'Orange has refused their help.

I've been writing a story, one that I will get back to after this dribble, that is my least favorite thing I have ever written. Not because it sucks as a story but, it just fucking sucks to write. To unload the parts of me that go into making the story and having to re-examine that shit is fucking brutal.

But, it's a story I've wanted to tell for years. Maybe I will share it when it is done. Maybe.

Maybe I'll post it under a pseudonym.

Seriously though, I think we may need to reconsider this whole living on the gulf coast thing when she retires.

As much as this is the bible belt, God sure loves to fuck with these people.

Maybe we should take the hint.

A friend who was relatively new to the dribble once asked, why titty sprinkles?

I love titties. I love sprinkles.

I have to go now.

Titty sprinkles!



Monday, August 28, 2017

Remember, you are an adult on the internet

I cheered when Arya slit Baelish's throat last night.

I am still smiling about it.

I suspect that reaction is not reserved for nonfiction characters.

I cannot wait to see how badass the two Stark women are next season.

My friend Lauren leaves today.

She's one of those people who just fits right into your life, you know? That person you meet and think, haven't we always known each other?

We didn't do anything fancy. We just... hung out. Laughed. Cried. Ate pie.

That last one is not a euphemism you fucking pervs.

She's upstairs packing.

If she were here I would tell her that having her here has meant the world to us. I would tell her that she is a part of our home and our life. And that that is no small thing.

I won't tell her that now. She can just read it like the rest of you fuckers.

I will tell her I love her. I will squeeze her one last time. I will ask her to do that thing she does with her ass as she walks into the airport.

Titty sprinkles!



Friday, August 25, 2017

Back that ass up, Lauren

Happy birthday National Parks Services.

I have get to pick up our Lauren in a few hours. It's her first venture to Chez Martinez.

Hopefully the weather cooperates.

Either way, I suspect I will have my hands full this weekend.

TGB + Lauren = holy fucking shitballs time for Rudy.

I am listening to one of my favorite records. 

Yesterday as I was driving home there was a bit of a storm. We get them a lot. Thunderbolts and lightning very, very frightening indeed.

I was almost home and the worst of the storm seemed to be behind me.  I could still see lightning fingers all around but, that's an almost daily occurrence in the F-L-A.

This time one struck directly in front of me, sideways (it seemed). I say it seemed I was momentarily blinded by the light. There was just this wall of white. For a nanosecond I wondered if I had been struck.

I came home and changed my underwear.

Titty sprinkles!

PS I really miss California


Thursday, August 24, 2017

We are the ones we have been waiting for

Bunny gang is cranked and I am rubbing the eye boogies from my face.

Stockholm Syndrome is celebrating an anniversary today.

That is information you are going to use one day at a trivia competition at a bar and you'll forget that I helped you with that answer. You're welcome, you fucking ingrate.

I picked up Colin Kaepernick on my fantasy team.

Sorry, I just stopped typing to dance at my desk.

I have never been less interested going into an NFL season.

I auto-drafted my FFL team, you guys. AUTO FUCKING DRAFT!

I think this Chargers break-up is effecting me like, how do I put this?

If TGB ripped out my heart and I decided to actually be done with women. Not turn actually gay but, consider whether or not I could take a dick in my ass and then decide on celibacy.

Whatever the equivalent to that is is how I feel about football now.

I have to go get the guest room ready.

Titty sprinkles!